Fuck You (the game)

I saw one too many lap dances tonight, in a good way. The sire strikes again, a quick exchange of who knows with the original "Buisness Man", a McApple pie (finally!) and a "W" on the horizon.
Best friday ever?

Chris!

Tom Tuesdays v3.1 Google Choice: Hardware

Tues (or wed depending on the time i finish this post) March.25(or 26).2008

Well, for a different approach and because Steve dropped a classic already, i decided i would Google the name Tom and blog about the top response. I was a little nervous because I thought maybe Cruise or Hanks would pop up, or maybe even AfterTheJump, which would have made things a little redundant .......Boy was i wrong! The first hit was Tom's Hardware. I hadn't even heard of this place until about 6 minutes ago and, being so unfamiliar with this subject and being much too lazy to familiarize myself, am a little writer blocked. I'll give it my best shot:

Hardware is an online, and maybe even a physical, store which deals in computer components (i smell a coup!) Hardware also contains articles with intensely captivating titles such as:
Can Heterogeneous RAID Arrays Work?
Zotac Jumps The Gun On New Nvidia Hybrid SLI Chipset For AMD
Taiwan DRAM Makers To Start Producing 6F Squared DRAM In H2
and Intel: Skulltrail Supports Crossfire & SLI

Cool!

Fact: computers are used to blog, these can be purchased at Tom's Hardware

Question: Whats a DRAM?

Fiction: Al Gore invented the internet

Fact: Tom's hardware has competitive pricing and great customer service

Fact: I don't really care about the above fact

Fiction: Tom's hardware, unfortunately, is not a store at which you can purchase equipment used and signed by Tom Cruise while filming MI3.

Fact: If you Google "Google" the first 3 or 4 pages are all links to different Google applications

Fiction: The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (no relation to the family depicted in Party of Five)

Their most popular product right now is the GE force 8800 GT video card selling for $209.99
I just ordered 3. Your welcome Carli!

Its too bad Google had to sell out so hard because the second hit was Tom Anderson, the MySpace guy who has over a tribillion friends and loves the smell of warm cum (but not his own), that could have been great. Oh well there's always next Tuesday, maybe i'll try webcrawler.

Chris!

Tom Tuesdays v3.0:Miller

Football hero, cross dressing sexpot: This week profiled in Tom Tuesdays, none other than my boy wonder younger brother Thomas Martin Gyles Miller. AKA T-mill, tom-bomb, tommy tommy two two.

Born third in a family of four, life was not always easy for the tightly wound volcano known as 'T-Mill'. Whether going head to head with Brent Miller for 22 years or single handily putting an entire high school football team on his back during a mind numbing overtime championship game in '02, he has never flinched in the face of fear.
Tom likes to relax away from the field by listening to remixes and mash-ups of just about any song ever made. You may have comes across his mix cd's released to the public as 'Tom's Tunes: volumes I-VIII'. Led Zeppelin, eat your heart out.
It would be a shame if I didn't mention one of his partner's in crime Jon Bertie, the Birdman. These two having been gambling away money off each other for the better part of 7 years. If that doesn't scream friendship, I don't know what does.
Looking to the future, Tom is getting actively involved in lowering student tuition rates, smoke more butts and calling more bad movies like Hostage starring Bruce Wills one of the best movies of the summer.

Let us tip our hat to Tom!

-Steve

Things you learn while traveling

Sometimes when people travel, they come to a spiritual awakening, or at least use the traveling as an excuse to fuck alot of people raw dog. I obviously was on a different sort of mission.

First off, yes, I did travel abroad. I went to some place called "Hautstralia", and Haut it was. My friends and I (there was seven of us who went, including our very own testicular wonder - Chris!) learned many things on this trip, most of it was recorded in our 'bible'. I will have more of these pages to post. After reviewing this bible, I would like to think we kept it real, because I don't think our sense of humor has changed one bit since we were 19.

Props to old souls

-Steve

Tom Tuesdays (wed. edition) v2.0: Cruise

Wednesday.March.19.2008.

For anyone of our readers out there who actually know us it must of came as a major shock last week when we unleashed the first "TT" with Hanks. "Hanks!" you must of said aloud. "Did i miss Cruise?" as you poured over our modest archives. "Do i even know these guys anymore? Where the fuck have i been?" as you smashed your fist into your keyboard and threw your wireless mouse across the room. Well the answers are "no", "maybe" and "at a White something or other and stunnas party but obviously not in the corner under the large lion at the back on the right"

The reason we decided to open with Hanks and not Cruise has nothing to do with AIDS, volcanos, volleyballs or Meg Ryan. It has to do with what Tom Cruise does best.....delaying pleasure. If you will look back the infamous scene in Vanilla Sky where David goes with Sofia back to her apartment and they laugh and draw caricatures of each other he doesn't actually sleep with her and leaves her hanging for which she calls him a "Pleasure delayer". So essentially the first Tom Tuesday was about Cruise as is every living day of our lives.

Fact: Tom Cruise was dyslexic, making him the only actor with dyslexia to play both a fighter pilot and a race car driver.

Fact: Tom Cruise not only does all his own stunts but also stunt doubles for Jet Li, Chow Yun Fat, Chun Li from street fighter and pretty much any other acrobatic asian actor you can think of.(except Jackie Chan, Cody Brown does those)

Fact: Cruise in dangerous and unsafe

Fact: Ice melts, Cruise does not.

Fact: Nicole Kidman is a robot Cruise invented because he needed an attractive co-star for Days of Thunder.

Carli on Cruise: "I loved him in Dawson's Creek"

Fiction: Cruise is crazy

Fiction" Cruise is gay

Fiction: Cruise has bad teeth

There have been so many erroneous rumors spread about Cruise it's appalling. When asked in a recent interview what Cruise thought about some of these rumors Cruise replied " You don't have time to think up there. If you think, you're dead."
Truer words? not possible. If you let the rumors get to you...BOOM..you're dead. Thanks for the advice Tom, it could one day save my life.

Chris!