Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Tom Tuesdays v1.0: Hanks

Welcome to the very first edition of an ongoing (hopefully) segment here at AfterTheJump entitled Tom Tuesdays. Today, Tuesday March 11 2008, we will be profiling one of the greatest actors of our generation Tom Hanks.

Thomas Jeffrey "Tom" Hanks was born on the ninth of July, 1956 in presumably, judging by his unwavering confidence on and off screen, a fighter jet above the mountains of Kilimanjaro. Most of Toms bio can be found here, what we will be giving you is some little known facts about Hanks. I hope you all will find a deeper appreciation for Thomas Jeffrey after reading this, I know I have.

Tom Facts:

1) Tom Hanks has actually won the Oscar for best actor over 15 times. Including a win for Money Pit.

2) Tom Hanks played the negro character along side Jackie Chan in the Rush Hour series of films. His black actor pseudonym is Chris Tucker not to be confused with the Chris Tucker who starred in the film Friday. It is just a coincidence they look alike.

3) Tom was breast fed by Marylin Monroe for three weeks while his parents were vacationing in Cuba

4) Tom Hanks wrote a series of horror novels for adolescents entitled Goosebumps which went on to become a fairly successful television program among the 10 to 14 year old bracket of viewers. His author alias is R.L. Stine.

5) Tom Hanks once beat Cody Brown (whom we will be introducing in the near future) in a 39 hour heads up match of texas hold'em. He ended up winning one of Cody's four cabins and the underwear model contract Cody was under with Calvin Klein. Tom donated the winnings to Ashton Kutcher in agreement he never got "Punk'd".

6) In researching the role of Andrew Beckett in the film Philadelphia, Tom spent three weeks in Africa fucking monkies. This led to his interest in the role of Bubba in the initial script for Forrest Gump, since Tom had yet to develop his Chris Tucker persona he was left no choice but to settle for the role of Forrest (one of the few roles he did not win an Oscar for, the Oscar going that year to Keanu Reeves for his disturbingly vivid portrayal of Officer Jack Traven in the film Speed 1).

I'm sure my partners here at ATJ will have some moving and inspiring Tom Hanks tales to add to share with us. Thank you for joining us at the inaugural edition of Tom Tuesdays!

Good Night



carli said...

that was funny until the racism part.

The Bros said...

These are facts, racist or not.