Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Tom Tuesdays (wed. edition) v2.0: Cruise


For anyone of our readers out there who actually know us it must of came as a major shock last week when we unleashed the first "TT" with Hanks. "Hanks!" you must of said aloud. "Did i miss Cruise?" as you poured over our modest archives. "Do i even know these guys anymore? Where the fuck have i been?" as you smashed your fist into your keyboard and threw your wireless mouse across the room. Well the answers are "no", "maybe" and "at a White something or other and stunnas party but obviously not in the corner under the large lion at the back on the right"

The reason we decided to open with Hanks and not Cruise has nothing to do with AIDS, volcanos, volleyballs or Meg Ryan. It has to do with what Tom Cruise does best.....delaying pleasure. If you will look back the infamous scene in Vanilla Sky where David goes with Sofia back to her apartment and they laugh and draw caricatures of each other he doesn't actually sleep with her and leaves her hanging for which she calls him a "Pleasure delayer". So essentially the first Tom Tuesday was about Cruise as is every living day of our lives.

Fact: Tom Cruise was dyslexic, making him the only actor with dyslexia to play both a fighter pilot and a race car driver.

Fact: Tom Cruise not only does all his own stunts but also stunt doubles for Jet Li, Chow Yun Fat, Chun Li from street fighter and pretty much any other acrobatic asian actor you can think of.(except Jackie Chan, Cody Brown does those)

Fact: Cruise in dangerous and unsafe

Fact: Ice melts, Cruise does not.

Fact: Nicole Kidman is a robot Cruise invented because he needed an attractive co-star for Days of Thunder.

Carli on Cruise: "I loved him in Dawson's Creek"

Fiction: Cruise is crazy

Fiction" Cruise is gay

Fiction: Cruise has bad teeth

There have been so many erroneous rumors spread about Cruise it's appalling. When asked in a recent interview what Cruise thought about some of these rumors Cruise replied " You don't have time to think up there. If you think, you're dead."
Truer words? not possible. If you let the rumors get to're dead. Thanks for the advice Tom, it could one day save my life.


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